1 
0 Have you ever wondered what it would be like to date your fridge? Well, you are in luck! Sassy Chap Games have burst onto the scene with their debut title, Date Everything! A dating simulator with a unique twist that will be sure to raise eyebrows. Date Everything! will be coming to Steam on June 17th. However, if you pre-purchase before this date, you will receive a 10% discount.
Is there anything you can’t date?
Let me know in the comments who your favourite datable item is!
Gameplay
Upon starting the game you immediately find out your degree in customer service is useless, after you lose your job to AI. Which feels a little too real in this day and age. However, all seems to be ok when a stranger sends you a gift. Unwrapping this mysterious gift, you are presented with a pair of magical glasses called “dateviators”. Suddenly your house is coming alive and everything is dateable. Yes, even the sofa. In fact Date Everything!, has 100 unique items that the player can interact with. Ranging from everyday appliances to fully developed human-like characters. Which is a lot of dating options if you ask me. Some might say too many. But I guess it’s nice to have options!
Of course how do you know what kind of relationship you want with your belongings until you talk to them? And boy, are there are plenty of opportunities to get to know them all individually! As with any good dating sim game, during conversations with these objects of desire you’ll need to choose your responses carefully. As whatever response you choose affects what type of relationship you ultimately have with them. This can be a romantic relationship, a friendship, or they can even become your enemy. I do not recommended angering the toilet.
I love lamp
You are probably wondering, with 100 different dateable options, how can you possibly remember who’s who or even what stage your relationship is at? Thankfully, we are helped out with the ‘date-a-dex”. The ‘date-a-dex’ provides us with an encyclopaedia of those you have met, and those who are waiting for your hand in marriage. Like a walking talking little black book. And of course, there is also the struggle of finding every pesky little item within the home. Thankfully, as you unlock more characters, they can also give you hints on where smaller items are hidden. It isn’t just given to you on a plate, though. Just like real life dating, you have to work hard to find love!
Graphics & Audio
The character designs within Date Everything! are brilliantly unique. No character has been designed the same, with each having an aesthetic that completely matches their item counterpart. I could tell a lot of effort has been placed into designing each character to ensure their uniqueness, but also making sure they look visually pleasing. The game uses vibrant colours throughout, with these colours being amplified through the use of the ‘dateviators’. When the player places on the ‘dateviators’, there is a clear contrast change. This presents the environment with a warm colour, showing that the player is ready for love. Don’t you love little UI touches like that?
Whilst the overall feel of the game is great, I did find that the player’s movements felt janky. It almost felt like there was quite a large input delay. This showed up when using my keys to direct the protagonist, to then seeing them move on the screen. Whilst not a huge issue in a dating sim, it is something to be aware of.
One of the stands out in this game is the audio. Date Everything! bolsters fully voiced characters. Yes, all 100 dateables are voiced. And no, no two voices are the same. There are some very familiar voices though. With the likes of Ashley Johnson (The Last of Us), Laura Bailey (The Last of Us), and Troy Baker (what isn’t he in) lending their voices to their respective characters. I really appreciated this attention to detail, it’s no small feat afterall. These individual voices combined with the unique character designs really helped with the immersion and experience of the game. No person you date is the same as another. A sentiment true in real life and this game!
Longevity
I hesitate to say how long I have played Date Everything! for, and it still feels like I haven’t scratched the surface. This is by no means a short game. Each of the 100 characters has at least 3 unlockable endings i.e. love, hate or friendship. This isn’t something that can be completed quickly, as you’ll need to have multiple conversations with each character. They do say you can’t hurry love though! And for £30 (or £27 with the launch discount) that is a lot of game for your money.
Not to mention that there is also going to be release day DLC. You know because 100 dateable objects isn’t enough, you definitely need 2 more options!
Final Thoughts
Date Everything! is certainly unique in its premise. I genuinely wonder how someone even came up with the idea. However, I’m glad they did!
Whilst the idea of trying to date your furniture is not for everyone, it is certainly worth trying out the game. The quirkiness of the game really draws you in. While the premise of it seems silly, there is a lot of love poured into the game. Making it a very fun sandbox dating simulator.
People should certainly give Date Date Everything! a go, it is definitely worthy of the rare Thumb Culture Platinum Award.
Disclaimer: A code was received in order to write this review.
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