Happy Holidays fellow gamers! Here at Thumb Culture we thought we would do something a little different for the holidays and instead of just throw out a ton of reviews (which will also be coming so you can be well informed for the sales!) We wondered: What would Christmas be like in the world of Tamriel?
Well we managed to track down the Dovahkiin himself for a chat to find out what was on his wish list and what he was buying (or stealing) for his friends and family… It actually turned out to be a rather interesting conversation so we thought we would share it with all of you:
John: Good Afternoon Dovahkiin, Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk to us here at Thumb Culture, we really appreciate it. Is there anything you would like to say to your fans before we get started with the interview?
Dovahkiin: Thanks for the invite, but stop calling me Dovahkiin… My name is Eric. I’m so tired of hearing ‘Dovahkiin this’ and ‘Dragonborn that’. Why does no one ever take the time out to find out what I want to be called?
John: Oh, Sorry, my bad. So, Eric, what can you tell us about Saturalia (Christmas) in Skyrim? I imagine it must be quite a magical place at this time of year?
Eric (Dovahkiin): Sure, there are some very festive places for Saturalia, especially once the towns put up the Lanterns and prepare for the festivals. But ‘magical’ isn’t really accurate. There is magic all year round with those Bloody Necromancers and Mages constantly trying to kill me. Then you have the College of Winterhold and the Novice Students asking to test out spells on me and them going horribly wrong.. Magic is overrated.
John: Haha.. Think we got a little side tracked at the end there, but it’s good to know the people get into the festive spirit. Do you do anything special at home? I believe your currently living at Lakeview Manor? A house you built yourself? That’s pretty impressive, building a home all by yourself.
Eric: You would think so, but here is the strange thing, it was much easier than you might think, it felt like someone just pushed a few buttons and up went the house. I don’t even think I broke a sweat. I was happy with it when it was done. Plenty of space to keep my weapons and trophies.
John: Really?? Not sure I can believe that, a house that built itself?
Eric: I am not a Liar!
The interview got a little heated here. Lets just say when I agreed to do this no one told me that I would have to deal with a dragon shout.. I would’ve worn thicker socks!
Eric clearly has a little bit of a short fuse Also Need to make a note, next time we Interview him, do it over the phone!
30 mins later (after many painkillers)…
John: Ok, So can we try to continue the Interview now?
Eric (in an angry tone): Called me a damn Liar! Won’t do that again!
John: Moving on, Can we talk about the things you do for the holidays? I’m sure our readers would like to know what would be on the Dragonborns gift list.
Eric: Holiday? Don’t get a holiday, I’m constantly out Adventuring. This time of year is the best time to go through dungeons and caverns for treasures. Have you ever caught the stench of a ripe Draugr? Well its not what I would call favourable and its worse in the summer!! Although they do look good covered in lights with a red hat. (I’m assuming this was meant to be a joke.. I didn’t want to ask if he was being serious or not).
Eric: Hmm.. A gift list.. well Grand Soul Gems, Dragon Bones and a Giants Toe. They always come in handy. Oh and I hear you have Spider repellent spray in this world? Maybe a can of that as well.
John: That’s a pretty specific list, good to know. How about the family? I’m sure you have gifts in mind for the wife and kids?
Eric: Aela wants a specific Necklace and outfit to improve her Poison Resistance, The kids want the normal stuff, Wooden Swords and Dolls.
John: Good to know, so do you have any special plans? Like a family outing or anything?
Eric: Aela and I will go Dragon Hunting, providing she agrees to actually be useful this time and not just find the longest slowest route to the same place and arrive after I kill the thing on my own, or let me get half way there then decide to just go home on her own.
John: Haha.. Sounds to me like she has got you figured out, she lags behind for a while and you take care of the dangerous stuff leaving her to admire the treasures you find. Sounds like an eventful time planned either way.
Eric: I’m just hoping this year I don’t have to do anything for the Dark Brotherhood. Always seems that someone wants somebody killing during Saturalia, just can’t get any peace and quiet.
John: Erm.. Ok, well I think maybe we should skip over the topic of Festive Murder. Hopefully this interview will at least give our readers something to think about over the holidays, is there anything you would like to add?
Eric: Yes, Speaking from Experience, make the most of the time at home with your family, eat lots of food and drink lots of wine.
John: That’s a very nice… (Cut off)
Eric: I wasn’t finished… That way if the Black Sacrament is performed during my holiday it will make my life easier hunting you down and killing you.. Oh and make sure you have a Giants Toe.. I like those.
John: Erm… Okay.. Maybe not as nice as I first thought. Thanks for your time Eric and I Hope you and your family enjoy the holidays (without so much killing)
I guess you could say that was informative, although the bump on my head says maybe I should have got Roy to do the interview instead! So here we have it. Eric the Dragonborn (still can’t believe his name is Eric..) is a very grumpy person who spend most of his Christmas Holidays performing Assassinations and looking for Toes.
Not my idea of a Festive Holidays but each to their own.
I guess I will just end with this…
From everyone at Thumb Culture we would like to wish you all Happy Holidays and all the best heading into the New Year, It’s going to be an exciting year ahead for games.
Disclaimer: This Version of the Dragonborn was taken completely from my own personal Skyrim Game and the interview was created purely for a bit of a fun.
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Thanks for Reading!